Dating Violence

ITS EMOTIONAL:  One in five adolescents report being a victim of emotional abuse.
ITS PHYSICAL: Forty percent of teenage girls aged 14 to 17 say they know someone their age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend.
ITS SEXUAL: One study found that 38 percent of date rape victims were young women from 14 to 17 years of age.
Dating violence is defined as emotional, physical, and/or sexual abuse of one partner by the other partner in a relationship.  This abuse can take the forms of control, isolation, jealousy, coercion, assault, and many others. Dating violence is often unnoticed because it has been stereotyped to be only physical abuse. Although physical abuse is very serious and continues to be a large concern, bruises from physical abuse heal…but the pain from emotional abuse can last a lifetime.

A few warning signs to look for in a relationship are:

• He/she tells you he can’t live without you.
• He/she blames you for his/her problems.
• The person you are dating is jealous and possessive about the time you spend with your friends.
• He/she breaks or hits things to intimidate you.
• Your partner forces you to change your appearance. (i.e. losing weight, wear different clothing)
• He/she threatens to hurt herself or others if you break up with her.
• Your partner pressures you into having sex by saying, “If you loved me you would…”
• He/she is constantly checking up on you, asking where you are and what you’re doing.
• The person you date has severe mood swings or constant bad moods.
• He/she wants to limit your activities so you can be together more.
• The person you’re dating forces you to choose being with them over your friends and family.
• He/she has hit, pushed, choked, restrained, kicked, or physically hurt you in some other way.
• The person you are dating often loses their temper and verbally assaults or threatens you.
• He/she wants you to be available to him/her at all times.

If someone you know is in a violent relationship:

• Try to stay calm.
• Don’t judge the victim.
• Tell the person you are worried about them.
• Be a good listener. Don’t try to have the answers for everything.
• Offer your friendship and support.

 

LINKS WE LOVE:

http://www.acadv.org/dating.html
http://www.brighthorizonsne.org/
www.endabuse.org
www.loveisnotabuse.com
www.loveisrespect.org
www.ncvc.org
www.seeitandstopit.org
www.theredflagcampaign.org
www.wvdhhr.org/bph/trust/whatis.htm

 

*Statistics from: http://www.acadv.org/ and http://www.cdc.gov/ncipc/dvp/DatingViolence.htm
*Warning signs adapted from the American Bar Association’s, “National Teen Dating Violence Prevention Initiative”
*Other information gathered from “Youth Reaching Youth Victims” from the NCVC and NCPC